To Israel, With Love
A New York Woman Take Her Family Back To Hero
“Home Country” To Show Them The True Meaning Of Being Jewish

By Aiden Teplitzky Dobens,
Max Dobens and Jacky Teplitzky

“While I was not born in Israel, I consider it to be my home country,” Jacky says. “It is in my blood. As Jewish people, we are part of a nation, not just part of a religion.” But it was for religious reasons Jacky returned after a nine-year absence.
“I never meant to be away for so long,” she explains. Jacky arrived in Manhattan in 1989 for work-related reasons and soon met and married her husband, which solidified her ties to the city. “There was always something that came up, whether it was work or the children were too young or we simply did not have enough time to devote to a lengthy visit, which I felt was necessary for my family to get a full appreciation of the country.” But as her oldest son, Aiden, approached the age for his bar mitzvah, she felt it was imperative to make the trip. “He needed to be fully connected to his roots and comprehend to the fullest measure possible the deep meaning of a bar mitzvah—to understand the essence of becoming a Jewish man.” Thus, Jacky, her husband, Max, along with Aiden, 12, and their youngest son, Sean, 9, traveled to Israel for a three-week vacation.
To best understand the individual impact of this trip on this close-knit family, Bar Mitzvah Magazine asked Jacky, Max and Aiden to discuss the meaningful moments of their Middle Eastern trip:

The Tale of Jacky Teplitzky

Why did you decide to take this trip? The only way to understand what being Jewish really means is to go to Israel. I grew up there, and I wanted my husband and children to experience the country not only from a tourist point of view but to see how Israelis live their daily lives and what being an Israeli really means.
What did you get out of your journey? I finally closed a circle in my life. Something had been missing since I became a mother. I’ve talked about Israel for many years to my family, yet it really was not a tangible entity for them. They had to see and experience it for themselves.
What meant the most to you? I wanted to be able to continue the heritage chain—for my kids to be able to tell their kids about the feeling of belonging to a nation, a group of people.
Did it meet your expectations? Yes. It was a great combination of seeing the country, meeting with old friends and going back in time. For Aiden, until we went to Israel, he considered the whole bar mitzvah planning and preparation as a “chore.” He now understands it is much more than that. That alone made the trip worthwhile.

What was good or bad about the trip? It was an opportunity to show my husband and children my history. I took them to Moshav, the village where I lived as a young girl. I grew up in extremely modest circumstances. We located the house where my parents, brother and I once lived. The family living there now converted the living room into a home office, it was that small. Even though I often spoke of my early years, my family was shocked to see for themselves my actual circumstances. And it made me very proud of my accomplishments and appreciative as well. I have sold nearly $500,000,000 in Manhattan real estate, and I started in this business knowing no one and not having a single business or social contact. I went from nothing to climbing to the very top of my profession, working for Prudential Douglas Elliman. It showed my children what hard work, determination and dreams can achieve.

The Tale of Max Dobens

Why did you decide to take this trip? My wife and I wanted to offer our sons a physical connection to their religious studies. We also wanted to have a bar mitzvah ceremony in Israel, which we did at the southern wall of the Kottel. While the bar mitzvah in New York will be very special, I strongly felt that having one in Israel would have a deeper meaning for Aiden and for us as a family.
What did you get out of your journey? I enjoyed the tremendous depth of history that Israel has to offer. You read about places such as the Golan Heights, the Wailing Wall and the Dead Sea—but when you see them for yourself, wow!
What meant the most to you? It was very meaningful seeing my son bar mitzvah’d at the southern wall with Jacky and close family members, some of whom will not be able to make it to the ceremony in the United States.
Did it meet your expectations? It exceeded my expectations, as I did not really understand that Israel was so interesting and so small. We will go back again soon.
What was good or bad about the trip? It deepened my love and understanding for my wife, as I saw for myself how hard her family had it when they first arrived in Israel and how much she has achieved in her personal and professional life. I am very proud of her.

The Tale of Aiden
Teplitzky Dobens

Why did you decide to take this trip? Actually, my mom made the decision to go to Israel because she thought it would be a good experience for me.
What did you get out of your journey? The thing I got out of this trip was really understanding the meaning of having a bar mitzvah. Plus, realizing that a bar mitzvah isn't just a big party you forget about afterwards. It's about becoming responsible and growing up.
What meant the most to you? I was able to explore Israel like a Jewish person. I saw synagogues; I learned about our history; I went to the Western Wall; I had a semi-bar mitzvah; and I did all the traditional things that a Jew would do in Israel. But, on the other hand, I was able to travel around Israel like any non-Jew. I went to a soccer game. I met new people. I was able to see and learn more about different cultures.
What was good or bad about the trip? I found that the only bad thing was getting used to the heat. What I loved about the trip was that my family did many traditional things, but we were also able to try to speak a new language and really see a new country. I think I learned a lot but was still able to have fun doing it. It was a great trip.
Did it meet your expectations? The trip really did exceed my expectations. I never expected much more than little towns and a lot of desert. I really loved it. A

Aiden Teplitzky Dobens’s New York City bar mitzvah ceremony will take place at Park Avenue Synagogue in January.